While most of you likely spent the day either drinking or sobering up, I was up bright and early yesterday at a Memorial Day ceremony at the Fort Mason cemetery.
Before you start thinking I'm patriotic or a good person in general, let me tell you that I started wandering during the ceremony and stumbled upon some old cars. Because I've lived a sheltered (albeit good) life, I thought these old 1940s cars were just especially shiny for no reason and it was my duty to open the doors and jump in. You know... get in the war spirit... go back to the WW2 days...
Old patriotic-dressed woman in other shiny car: "PPPPPLLLLLEAASEEE don't touch the cars!!!!!!!!"
Just-as-old man with a thick NON patriotic accent: "YEAH!! How would you like it if I broke into your car????!?!!"
Confused Sassy Chica (slowly walking towards them): "oh, I wouldn't like that at all... I.. I .. didn't know..."
Just-as-old man with a thick NON patriotic accent: "That's what I thought. SHOW SOME RESPECT!"
Still confused sassy chica: "I'm really sorry, I... I just saw you guys in this car and so I thought it was ok to get in...I ... I didn't know..."
Old patriotic-dressed woman in other shiny car: "WE OWN THIS CAR!!!!! Show some respect!!"
Sassy chica: "Ok, you know what? I said I'm sorry, I didn't know, and you really need to stop with the attitude."
After I said my peace I felt so shamed by my elderly forefathers that I started crying out of pure guilt. Yes. Me. Shamed to tears... I of course exited the cemetery as soon as possible to avoid all sympathetic "oh, did your grandpa die in the war?"faces.
Cue taps.
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