Satanic Snack Packs

"Oh, 100 calorie snack packs! CUTE!"

Oh, how naive I once was...

Back then (last week), I didn't know the dangers of these individually wrapped crack-laced snacks. Safeway had a special and I grabbed two $5 boxes: One was Ritz cracker/chips, the other chocolate covered pretzels.

*Note: Quotations mark beginning and end of inner dialogue

I opened the first little bag "Ooooooo these are delicious!! And only 100 calories!!"

2 seconds later, "Shit. They are gone. There were like four in there. Well, I'll have one more bag, it's only 100 calories."

30 minutes later: "Ugh. I'm still hungry. If only I had a snack nearby... Oh wait!! Those 100 calorie snack packs... that would be a great idea- and they are sooo tasty."

30.5 minutes later: "F word. I just had three snack packs in thirty minutes. That's 300 calories. That's more than a candy bar -- stupid snack packs! I hate you."

1 hour later: "Stop staring at me, snack pack!! I already had three of you today!! I don't want anymore!!"

1 hour and 1 minute later: "Ah, what's one more?"

1 hour and 1.5 minutes later: "I cant believe I did it again. I am throwing these evil doers away!" (two remaining snack packs in hand... my hand shaking over the garbage....) "I can't do it, I'll need a snack tomorrow. I'll just finish them then and never buy them again."

2 hours later: "Ugh, I'm going to the gym right after work -- I'm still hungry. I should really eat more for lunch. Hmmm I should get something so I don't die working out... (eyes glancing down at my drawer) ... hmm maybe I have some fruit in this drawer (even though I know I don't)... (slowly opening drawer, peering inside) ... Drats, only snack packs inside.... Welllllll, I mean, at this point I may as well have the whole box"

2 hours and one minute later: "I vow to never buy those again. They are EVIL"

Next Day: Off to Safeway to buy more snack packs.