Loud Breathers Bother Me

I recently moved desks, and now sit across from a loud breather. A loud breather can do one or all of the following:

a) Many heavy heavy sighs like every 3 minutes

b) Breathing through the nose constantly -- and so loud that it can easily be mistaken for a snore

c) Eat loudly- This isn't just loud chewing - this is inhaling loudly through the mouth and nose while taking in a giant sandwich. And then doing cardio exercises out the nostrils while chewing.

This lady is driving me nuts. I know it's petty, but there is NEVER silence because she's always breathing. I know I know -- breathing is normal and encouraged, but not when it sounds like THAT. In addition she is on the phone ALL DAY talking about her kids and husband, all of whom seemingly have very bad genetics:

-son has diabetes and she checks up on him every thirty minutes (keep in mind this woman is definitely over 50 which means her son is some poor 30yr old who has his mom calling saying "check your sugar" constantly)

-daughter has chronic diarrhea (which I have heard all the details about). She talks about consistency and everything. Holy shit its disgusting (no pun intended)

-husband might need a kidney. he has ANOTHER (that's how she says it) appointment with the urologist tomorrow. She has been calling people all day leaving messages saying "I have some bad news about Dwayne. Well, I'll likely have bad news tomorrow after his appointment."

The only cool think about her: She looks like Phyllis on The Office.