Bad Outfit + Hangover = Ego-damaging Misunderstanding

Cliff Notes Version:

Oh sh*t. I look like a work at a discounted retail store.

Full Story Version:

I should have seen it coming, when I left the house yesterday, I knew I looked like a walking hangover. Hair was up in a bun, glasses, long over sized sweater, and sneakers. Yep, I seriously left the house like that. After catching a glimpse of myself in a window I asked my boyfriend if I looked like a grandma. He answered my question with another question, "what does a grandma look like?," which should have been my answer. But instead of changing, we went onward to run some errands.

We arrived at Ross, this junky discounted retailer store (slogan is "dress for less"), to buy towels and socks (yep, a sexy Sunday), and I slowly began to realize just how bad I looked. I was perusing the towel aisle when a short woman approached me with a question.

short woman: excuse me....

me: yes? what would you like me to grab off the top shelf?
[You see, me and the short people of the world have a connection. They can't reach things up on shelves, and I can. So we work together to make the world a better place.]

short woman: oh, um, nothing. I was just curious if you could tell me if this (holding item) is a bath towel, or a bath mat?

me: (thinking: hmm this is odd... i guess i do look quite knowledgeable..) yep, this is definitely a towel.

short woman: oh, great. do you have others in a different color?

me: (thinking: F*CK -- SHE THINKS I WORK HERE.) (actions: bow head. slump shoulders. leave the scene.)

The valuable lesson here: I should really start trying at life.