I shall proceed....
This morning I was walking to work with latte in hand, music in ear, and dread in my heart. In fact, my music was so loud that I was completely unaware of the noises around me -- including the power-walker in his loud wind pants and the muffled "i'm dying" noises from a pigeon on the sidewalk.
I think you can see where this is going.
I was in my own world, until at the very last minute I noticed an extremely obese pigeon face planted in the middle of the sidewalk. In a split second I started to take an abrupt step to the right to avoid the carcass, but was SIDE SWIPED by the power walker to my right. Not only was I hip-checked and punched by his ever-so-intensely pumping fists, but I may have gotten wind burn -- from, yes, his wind breaker.
With my right "lane" blocked by said douchebag, I was forced to step towards the pigeon. Thankfully, I used my long limps to stretch my leg as far forward as possible to miss the bird completely.
It was horrifying: both the prospect of stepping on the sidewalk-kill and the pigeon's apparent ignorance about trans fats and carbs after 10 p.m.
Lesson learned.
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